When we look around us, we realize that the world is not the way we would like it to be. There seems to be problems everywhere. Many things happen that we feel are wrong or unjust — either at home, at school, or in the wider world. What should we do?
On the one hand, it is tempting to busy ourselves reforming everything (except ourselves). On the other hand, it is tempting to distance ourselves from what goes on around us and just concentrate on our own lives.
Yet we cannot simply live for ourselves and ignore the rest of the world. People are social beings, and they need networks of connections and relations with other people. We also understand that a purposeful and meaningful life is one that contributes to something greater than just ourselves. People find meaning in doing things for their families, their schools, their communities, their nations, and our world. Living for the sake of others brings joy, energy, and fulfillment to a person.
Kevin—a teenage leader
"Kevin! Kevin!" It seemed like that was the only name in the park that day. Everyone wanted Kevin's attention and companionship and everyone was calling his name.
Kevin was a teenage boy who lived for the sake of others. He spent his pocket money buying treats and snacks for the other kids. (His mother wondered why he was always low on money!) When another kid got hurt, Kevin would take him or her to his house and wash out the cut and apply a bandage or call the kid's parents. When kids needed to get home after dark, Kevin tried to get rides for them or walked them home himself. He often brought water to the park for other kids on hot days or brought the kids to his kitchen door and asked his mother for juice or ice water for them.
Because of how much he helped others, the other children turned to Kevin to mediate arguments in the park and on the field and basketball court. Kevin was able to soothe tempers and calm people down so they could talk out their problems with each other. He prevented fights by helping kids get their anger out in words instead of blows. Since he excelled at sports, the kids trusted him to decide any questions or arguments about the rules in a game. They knew he'd be fair.
"Why is everyone always calling 'Kevin! Kevin'?" a jealous neighborhood boy complained
"He's the leader!" the other kids told him.
Note: A person who lives always thinking of others becomes a central person—the person everyone turns to and wants to be around. He or she is the center and focus of activities and energy. Such a person is a natural leader.
How do we live for others?
Living for others is a hallmark of leadership, and may make us, as it did Kevin, the leader among our friends. So how do we live for others?
It begins with having compassion for people. Compassion means being able to understand another person's situation and to respond in a way to try to relieve any suffering or distress.
The Good Samaritan—a leader in doing good deeds
The Good Samaritan in The New Testament is so famous that there are thousands of hospitals, community centers, and charity groups all over the world named "The Good Samaritan" after him. Newspapers sometimes use the title in their headlines to describe someone doing a good deed: "Good Samaritan saves child from oncoming car," and such. The story of the Good Samaritan tells us two very important things: that we are to help others when we see them in need, and that anyone can do good things for the sake of helping others.
The Good Samaritan belonged to a religious "out group." The leaders in the town looked down on his group. Still, when a man was robbed, beaten, and left for dead on the side of the road, it was the Good Samaritan who stopped and helped. He cleaned and bandaged the man's wounds, he helped him to an inn, he paid the innkeeper himself, and came back to check on the injured man later to make sure he was all right. He probably saved the man's life. In this, the Good Samaritan showed that he was a truer leader than the main people in the town, who walked right past the injured man, not bothering to help. Comments
We need to notice when others need our help. We need to be able to feel their pain and suffering and want to relieve it for their sake, not for ours. Then we must act.
The story of the Good Samaritan reveals the unconditional nature of truly good actions. The Samaritan did not stop to think what kind of benefit he would gain from his good actions. He did not set out to be a leader. On the contrary, he unconditionally gave what he had for the sake of a stranger.
It has been argued that the Good Samaritan did this at some risk to himself. The man was robbed and beaten on an isolated stretch of road known for attacks by bandits. By stopping to help, the Good Samaritan exposed himself to the danger of a bandit attack. He acted at his own expense too--surely he would have preferred to spend the money he gave the innkeeper for the injured man's room on himself.Yet he didn't. He gave of his time, efforts, and resources to help another man. He has been an admired leader and example ever since.
Truly good deeds are done purely for the benefit of others. If someone does something for others but is motivated by expectation of a reward, it can hardly be called a good action (although it may appear so). Our actions are truly good only when we help sincerely with a pure heart. Often such good actions do not bring us any external reward at all--they cost us, as a matter of fact! And other people may not even notice what we have done. The real reward, unasked for and unexpected, is our own inner sense of peace and joy.
There is one sure way of becoming a good person and a true leader--to take good actions with a pure motivation. At first, it may be difficult. At times we may have to push ourselves to go against our own inclinations, but if we keep at it, eventually we will find that it becomes quite natural and even easier to live for the sake of others.
Doing good deeds brings the greatest joy, and this stimulates us to do other good actions. Doing good things for others generates all kinds of positive energy in our lives and in our world. We become a center of generating goodness--and that is a true leader.
Questions for Reflection
1. What does it mean to live for the sake of others?
2. Is it possible to just live for ourselves? Will we be happy that way?
2. What is compassion?
3. Explain the difference between a true leader and someone who just wants to be the center of attention.
4. What things did the Good Samaritan do to help the beaten man?
5. Have you ever helped someone you didn't really have to help?
6. In what ways do you live for the sake of others?
Exercise: "Myself as a Leader"
At home, try to do things for others tonight. See if you don't experience what the teenage leader Kevin experienced--everyone calling your name, becoming the center of things, feeling needed and wanted on all sides. It can be fun and rewarding. Notice how you feel when you go to sleep after such an evening. You may be a little extra tired, but look for an inner feeling of peace and satisfaction.
Reflection Exercise:
Think about and write down things you can do for other people in all the settings of your life: at the breakfast table at home, on the bus or walking to school, in class, after school, going home to dinner, etc. Now make a plan to do them!
On the one hand, it is tempting to busy ourselves reforming everything (except ourselves). On the other hand, it is tempting to distance ourselves from what goes on around us and just concentrate on our own lives.
Yet we cannot simply live for ourselves and ignore the rest of the world. People are social beings, and they need networks of connections and relations with other people. We also understand that a purposeful and meaningful life is one that contributes to something greater than just ourselves. People find meaning in doing things for their families, their schools, their communities, their nations, and our world. Living for the sake of others brings joy, energy, and fulfillment to a person.
Kevin—a teenage leader
"Kevin! Kevin!" It seemed like that was the only name in the park that day. Everyone wanted Kevin's attention and companionship and everyone was calling his name.
Kevin was a teenage boy who lived for the sake of others. He spent his pocket money buying treats and snacks for the other kids. (His mother wondered why he was always low on money!) When another kid got hurt, Kevin would take him or her to his house and wash out the cut and apply a bandage or call the kid's parents. When kids needed to get home after dark, Kevin tried to get rides for them or walked them home himself. He often brought water to the park for other kids on hot days or brought the kids to his kitchen door and asked his mother for juice or ice water for them.
Because of how much he helped others, the other children turned to Kevin to mediate arguments in the park and on the field and basketball court. Kevin was able to soothe tempers and calm people down so they could talk out their problems with each other. He prevented fights by helping kids get their anger out in words instead of blows. Since he excelled at sports, the kids trusted him to decide any questions or arguments about the rules in a game. They knew he'd be fair.
"Why is everyone always calling 'Kevin! Kevin'?" a jealous neighborhood boy complained
"He's the leader!" the other kids told him.
Note: A person who lives always thinking of others becomes a central person—the person everyone turns to and wants to be around. He or she is the center and focus of activities and energy. Such a person is a natural leader.
How do we live for others?
Living for others is a hallmark of leadership, and may make us, as it did Kevin, the leader among our friends. So how do we live for others?
It begins with having compassion for people. Compassion means being able to understand another person's situation and to respond in a way to try to relieve any suffering or distress.
The Good Samaritan—a leader in doing good deeds
The Good Samaritan in The New Testament is so famous that there are thousands of hospitals, community centers, and charity groups all over the world named "The Good Samaritan" after him. Newspapers sometimes use the title in their headlines to describe someone doing a good deed: "Good Samaritan saves child from oncoming car," and such. The story of the Good Samaritan tells us two very important things: that we are to help others when we see them in need, and that anyone can do good things for the sake of helping others.
The Good Samaritan belonged to a religious "out group." The leaders in the town looked down on his group. Still, when a man was robbed, beaten, and left for dead on the side of the road, it was the Good Samaritan who stopped and helped. He cleaned and bandaged the man's wounds, he helped him to an inn, he paid the innkeeper himself, and came back to check on the injured man later to make sure he was all right. He probably saved the man's life. In this, the Good Samaritan showed that he was a truer leader than the main people in the town, who walked right past the injured man, not bothering to help.
Comments
We need to notice when others need our help. We need to be able to feel their pain and suffering and want to relieve it for their sake, not for ours. Then we must act.
The story of the Good Samaritan reveals the unconditional nature of truly good actions. The Samaritan did not stop to think what kind of benefit he would gain from his good actions. He did not set out to be a leader. On the contrary, he unconditionally gave what he had for the sake of a stranger.
It has been argued that the Good Samaritan did this at some risk to himself. The man was robbed and beaten on an isolated stretch of road known for attacks by bandits. By stopping to help, the Good Samaritan exposed himself to the danger of a bandit attack. He acted at his own expense too--surely he would have preferred to spend the money he gave the innkeeper for the injured man's room on himself.Yet he didn't. He gave of his time, efforts, and resources to help another man. He has been an admired leader and example ever since.
Truly good deeds are done purely for the benefit of others. If someone does something for others but is motivated by expectation of a reward, it can hardly be called a good action (although it may appear so). Our actions are truly good only when we help sincerely with a pure heart. Often such good actions do not bring us any external reward at all--they cost us, as a matter of fact! And other people may not even notice what we have done. The real reward, unasked for and unexpected, is our own inner sense of peace and joy.
There is one sure way of becoming a good person and a true leader--to take good actions with a pure motivation. At first, it may be difficult. At times we may have to push ourselves to go against our own inclinations, but if we keep at it, eventually we will find that it becomes quite natural and even easier to live for the sake of others.
Doing good deeds brings the greatest joy, and this stimulates us to do other good actions. Doing good things for others generates all kinds of positive energy in our lives and in our world. We become a center of generating goodness--and that is a true leader.
Questions for Reflection
1. What does it mean to live for the sake of others?
2. Is it possible to just live for ourselves? Will we be happy that way?
2. What is compassion?
3. Explain the difference between a true leader and someone who just wants to be the center of attention.
4. What things did the Good Samaritan do to help the beaten man?
5. Have you ever helped someone you didn't really have to help?
6. In what ways do you live for the sake of others?
Exercise: "Myself as a Leader"
At home, try to do things for others tonight. See if you don't experience what the teenage leader Kevin experienced--everyone calling your name, becoming the center of things, feeling needed and wanted on all sides. It can be fun and rewarding. Notice how you feel when you go to sleep after such an evening. You may be a little extra tired, but look for an inner feeling of peace and satisfaction.
Reflection Exercise:
Think about and write down things you can do for other people in all the settings of your life: at the breakfast table at home, on the bus or walking to school, in class, after school, going home to dinner, etc. Now make a plan to do them!